Sometimes people are in therapy because the people around them are not in therapy
Ever feel like you are the only one that sees things the way you do?
Have the people around you ever told you that something you know to be true isn’t?
Have you been singled out as the “problem” when trying to work on a clear problem?
You may be surrounded by toxic people.
ABIGAIL BRENNER M.D. DEFINED 8 THINGS TOXIC PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON:
Toxic people are manipulative. Their modus operandi is to get people to do what they want them to do. It’s all about them. They use other people to accomplish whatever their goal happens to be. Forget what you want; this is not about equality in a relationship—far from it.
They are judgmental. Keep your eyes and ears open for criticism—about you, what you've done, and what you didn’t do. It’s never about them, and they will lie if it serves them.
They take no responsibility for their own feelings. Rather, their feelings are projected onto you. If you try to point this out to them, they will likely vehemently defend their perspective, and take no responsibility for almost anything they do.
They don't apologize. They don’t see any reason to, because things are always someone else’s fault. In many instances, although they try to orchestrate relationships to serve their own ends, they try to gain sympathy and attention by claiming “victim” status.
They are inconsistent. It’s hard to know who you’re with at any given time because they are often not the same person. They may change their perspective, attitude, and behavior depending on what they feel they need to accomplish or what they want to have happen.
They make you prove yourself to them. Toxic people make you choose them over someone else, or something they want over something you want.
They make you defend yourself. They have difficulty staying on point about certain issues, probably because they’re not interested in your point of view or trying to reach an amicable conclusion.
They are not caring, supportive, or interested in what’s important to you.
There are a lot more signs but if you are dealing with this crazy-making behavior, reach out for help. Counselors can help you navigate these kinds of situations.
Namaste’
Teletherapy in Oregon
Karen Van Acker LPC
